The Ultimate Crossover EVER!
by Doom Defiler of Logic
Summary: Doctor Who, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Torchwood, Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Vampire Academy, me and a friend in a blender. What's not to love. It's a screen play and fortunately it gets more rational as the story progresses.


The Cult of Skaro: Hurry up and die already!!!

Dalek Caan: I diiiieeeed a thoooouuuusand times.

Then stay dead.

Captain Jack: Not as easy as it looks.

Captain John: Anyone for an orgy?

Spike:*facepalm*

Angel: Get out of my office Spike!

Illyria: I want to keep Spike as a pet.

Angel: That is such a lame joke, Joss.

Spike: Make me.

Illyria: I will.

Angel: Hoo-rah.

Spike:*places feet on Angel's desk*

Angel:*Growls*

Johnny Snow: Can I be in this episode.

Doctor Horrible: I don't have time for a grudge match with every poser in a parka.

Johnny Snow: Squee.

Captain Hammer: WHHHHHHYYY?

Everyone Else:*Stares at Hammer*

Hammer: IT HURTS SO MUCH.

Dr Horrible: Cry baby.

Captain Jack: I don't like him.

The Doctor: Of course you don't like him. He's just like you.

Jack&John: Well the guy with the goggles is sought of cute.

Johnny Snow: He's my nemesis!!!

Spike: Why is it my face is always put on lame characters?

Angel: Reflects the original I guess.

Buffy: Hi guys.

Everyone Else: I think I'm in love.

Johnny Snow: She's not even pretty. Stop looking at her Doctor!! You're my nemesis.

Dr Horrible: Dude, you're not my nemesis.

Johnny Snow: I AM YOUR NEMESIS!!!!!

Spike: Someone's acting a little childish.

John: Hey a guy who looks like me. Mmmmm.

Jack: Three men who look like John. I might just take up that offer of an orgy.

Angel: Stop it.

Dr Horrible: Yeah, stop it.

Captain Hammer: Shut up Doctor.

Doctor: I didn't say anything.

Captain Hammer: I meant the other Doctor.

Doctor: But I am the Doctor.

Dr Horrible: He means me.

Captain Hammer: Ok. You're Doctor H and you're Doctor D.

Jack: Shut up!!!

John: He's not cute at all. Don't like him.

Captain Hammer: I'm gorgeous. You pair aren't.

John: You bitch!!

Jack: Easy John.

Doctor: I need to stop this now.

Dalek: EXTERMINATE!!

Dr Horrible: With my freeze ray I will stop the…. Arggh.

Doctor: You bastard. You killed him.

Johnny Snow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Buffy: Are you ok Spike?

Spike: I'm Spike.

John: (To Buffy) No I'm Spike.

Jack: I'm Spike.

Angel: Yeah, you know I could have been…OUCH!!!!!

Dalek: EXTERMINATE

Angel:*vamps* Little brat.

Spike: Oooh *vamps* a fight.

Rose: Doctor. I'm back.

Doctor: Oh Rose. I love y…

John: Hi Rose.

Spike: You're not as good as Buffy.

Illyria: Your presence displeases my pet.

Rose: Argghh.

Doctor: You killed her!!!

Spike: Bloody hell.

Angel: Illyria!! *Sigh*

Dalek: Exterminate?

Captain Hammer: No dalek. (Pulls off ray gun)(shoots Doctor)

Doctor: Arggh.

Jack: You killed him!!

Doctor: No he didn't.

Angel: How?

Doctor: RTD found a convenient way to bring me back.

Spike: I bloody hate RTD.

Angel: What has he got to do with us?

Spike: *Shrugs* Seemed like a good thing to say.

Doctor: No don't piss off RTD. He'll bring back.

Master: Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Doctor: *face palms*

Jack: *headdesk* oh lord, not again.

Spike: who's that guy? he has style...evil style

John: he's cute

Master: Doctor

Doctor: Master

Master: I love it when you use my name

Spike: Oh he's is so gay for the Doctor

Johnny Snow: Too soon

Doctor: like you and angel are so gay for each other Spike

Angel: What? Spike what have you been telling them?

Spike: Nothing

Illyria: My pet told me you were intimate

John: Can I suggest we just take all this sexual tension and have an orgy?

Doctor: NO!!!!!!!

Jack: *hits john across back of head*

John: Ouch!

Gwen: Jack!

Jack: What are you doing here?

Master: Wow, so many people in one room

Doctor: We could break reality

Master: Goody!

Doctor: Remember what we did back on Gallifrey

Master: Oh your Dad was so pissed at us

Doctor: Yeah

Spike: Seriously

Spike: What were you guys up to?!?!?!

John: what weren't they up to

Jack: JOHN!

John: Oh so they can suggest stuff but I can't?

Spike: That's real fair

Jack: I'm getting a headache from you pair sounding the same

Angel: It's my worst nightmare

Spike: damn, I wanted to be your worst nightmare. Me ALONE

Angel: Spike pick up your shattered pride later

Spike: only with your help *wink*

John: That's MY line

Captain Hammer: Oh god. This must be what pain feels like

Spike: You already said that line

Captain Hammer: It hurts so bad

Buffy: Can I kill him?

Angel: what, you're alive? I thought the dalek killed you

No

Angel: Who said that?

Joss Whedon: It was me

Everyone: What the hell?

John: God? Is that you?

What?!?!

John: Who said THAT?

RTD: It was me. I am God

Joss Whedon: No. I am

John: 2 gods. This explains why there is so many of me

Angel: You are not god's gift Spike

Johnny Snow: what? they think we look too good to only have one

Spike: Yo

RTD: John is better than Spike

Joss: Like hell

John: I'm better at sex

Jack: No you're not

John: Pretty sure I've had more practice

Spike: I've slept with demons, vampires and slayers

Doctor: You mean aliens

Spike: No. I mean demons

Master: Demons aren't real. There is only aliens

Rose: Uh but Doctor., we've fought the devil

Jack: I've died because of Abaddon

Doctor: Aliens!!

Jack: RTD, stop bringing back the dead

RTD: actually, if I stop...you'll die *smug*

Johnny Snow: Don't kill him

Doctor: Why not

Johnny Snow: He reminds me of Horrible

Hammer: How?

Jack: what? I am so not horrible

John: I don't know

Jack: It's a person John!

Buffy: he's kinda cute...immortal style

Spangel: *Rage*

Joss: It's funny

Spangel: Why?

Joss: You won't find out because you're not in season 8 of Buffy

Doctor: I am! *jokes*

Joss: Actually he is

RTD: He's my character!!!! I'll kill you

Rose: so am I!

Spike: I am so killing her

Angelus: I will kill her

Spike: What how are you back

Angelus: John and I went out back

Angel: *walks in* actually *stares* woah

Joss: RUSSEL!

RTD: *whistles innocently*

Buffy: So Angel and Angelus are in the same room. That's impossible!

Joss: Done it before

Buffy: yet somewhat....attractive

John: do I get an orgy NOW?

Jack: No

Master: I have a plan. I will kill off RTD to prevent that from happening

Doctor: That's impossible

Master: I'm doing it this season

Master: No more Russell

Doctor: Who'll write us after that

Steven Moffat: Me

RTD: Get out. I'm not dead yet

Doctor: Who just killed the 4th wall?

Illyria: I detested it

Master: Oooh I like blue thunder

Johhny Snow: I like her to. Argghh!!!

Spike: Well done blue

Master: can we break the fifth wall

Doctor: You're not living on Mars. Not letting that happen

Angel: I want to be an FBI agent

Spike: No

John: Wait a minute. Aren't we the same actor

John: If we break the 5th wall there will only be one of us and we can only go to one universe

Jack and Angel: We're breaking the damn wall

Spike: *growls*

Master: Yo

Master: Back to me. I'm the center of attention

Doctor: Then why did you hide at the end of the universe

Master: They have a great restaurant

Spike; Thought that was at the edge rather than the end

Master: You haven't been there

Doctor: And it was the end anyway

RTD: Wow. I'm the writer not Douglas Adams. Anyway he's dead

Joss: This could be fun

Spike: *shrugs* never paid attention in that movie... it got boring

Giles: Buffy

Buffy: What is it Giles

Giles: I have found a spell that will get rid of all the writers once and for all

Angel: excellent

Willow: I'll do it

Doctor: Are they gone

Master: let me check

Rose: Arggh

Master: She alive?

John: No

Master: They're gone

Doctor: You killed her again!!

Master: Don't worry RTD will bring her back. OH WAIT!!!

Jack: How DARE YOU

Spike: I never liked her anyway

Angelus: Just killed Buffy

Jack: Ha

Angel: You did WHAT?!

Angelus: I just killed Buffy!

Spike: How dare you!!!!

Angel: Let's get him spike *lunges*

Angelus: *dusted*

John: I liked him

Master: Wait. We could now go to every place that RTD has ruined and kill everyone there

Doctor: Uh no

Jack: Thats a lot of places

Master: Well we have a very powerful witch here and...

Willow: Arggh

Spike: Illyria!!!

Illyira: I'm powerful too

Jack: Are we just randomly killing off characters so the plotline makes more sense.

Spike: Yep

Jack: Come here John

John: *steps away* uh no, not going near you

Jack: Sex John. Sex

John: I don't trust you....

Jack: Come on. You know you want to

Donna: Hey everybody

Jack: oh god no

Master: Yes. We can FINALLY kill her

Donna: Arggh

Everyone: Yay

Doctor: OI!

Giles: Why did you kill her?

Doctor: Hey don't I know you? Yeah. You're the brother in charge of the Krillitain

Giles: What. No I'm arrgh

Doctor: JACK!!!

Jack: Sorry thought he was a bad guy

Doctor: He was. I just don't kill bad guys unless I have to

Spike: He wasn't a bad guy. He just never got shagged

Jack: ooooh

John: poor guy

Jack: Hey John

John: yo?

Jack: Pulls out gun

Spike: *jumps in the way*

Spike: I can't let you kill him. He looks too much like me

John: *wraps arm around spike and pulls him close, whispers in ear sexily* we'll shag later

Spike: I'm scared

Angel: Ok. Can I kill you now Spike

John: I'll stake you if you're not careful ponce

Doctor: Won't people stop killing.

Rose: Don't worry Doctor. I'm back

Doctor: But how.

RTD: My plotlines can not be killed off so easily

Master: He's back. Kill me now.

RTD: Won't help

Jack: Okay

Doctor: There is only one way to stop this. A duel between RTD and Steven Moffat

Steven Moffat: I choose the Empty Child!

RTD: I choose the daleks

Doctor: How did we know that was going to happen?

Spike: I'm vouching for empty child

Doctor: Wait. Who's writing this

Master: Good point.

Spike: I'll do it

Spike: I'll make it all rhyme too

Hammer: That's just going too far.

Dalek: Extermina...arghh

Doctor: Well that was easy. RTD is dead.

Buffy: Hey guys.

Jack: Why did we let him do that

Spike: Sorry, I love Buffy to much for her to be dead

Angel: Buffy you're alive

Buffy: No I love Spike

Spike: I may have made a few changes

Angel: *sighs* bloody hell Spike

Jack: Well nothing could get worse.

Johhny Snow: Hey guys

John: Why did you say that?

Jack: It always makes things worse. I like when things get worse

Spike: Hey guys I wrote a plotline for the new season of Doctor Who

Doctor: What's it like

Jack: Oh my god.

Doctor: What?

Jack: No daleks

Spike; I invented some original characters

Jack:*reading* The Sex Lord of sex played by James Marster

John: yup, that's me

Jack: *Still reading* A new evil race that will come back every season

Doctor: What?

Jack: The Angels

Angel: Spike *growls*

Spike: Beaten by the Doctor's new companion who is a much better version of an angel

Jack: Let me guess. Played by Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Spike: Yep. I've got this great idea for an episode where...

Angel: *Stakes Spike*

Spike: *dusts*

Illyria: MY PET *snatches stake and stakes angel*

Hammer: *Stakes self*

Jack: That was random

Illyira: I feel grief...I feel horrible *runs off*

Doctor: There are no more Joss characters besides Buffy

John: Stand aside

Buffy: *looks at john* you look like spike

Jack: We need to bring everyone back

Doctor: I'll use my sonic screwdriver and arrghh

Master: Laser screw driver. Who'd have sonic

Master: *Shoots everyone* I'll now have my own show called Master Who

*crowd applauds*

Stop

Master: What who's there? Come out come out

RTD: Boo!

Master: I thought you were dead

RTD: So did I. There must be a writer of writers writing this

**two of us actually**

It's quite fun

RTD: So while I'm here I'll bring everyone back

**no you don't**

We'll stop you

RTD: Well you wrote me saying that

**sometimes creations get their own ideas**

RTD: Look can I just bring Spike back?

**okay, bring back the fang boys**

Spangel: We're back

Yes

Adrian Ishakov: Hey guys

*Universe explodes*

**whoops**

Nothing can contian the amount of awesomeness that would happen if Angel, Spike and Adrian met

I'm suprised the internet didn't break

**me too**

Well that's the end of everything

God: Not so fast

That's just mean

***writes him out***

That was effective


End file.
